


I Won't Fall For You

by shortstackedcheesecake96



Category: South Park
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Reunions, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 12:00:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13247808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortstackedcheesecake96/pseuds/shortstackedcheesecake96
Summary: Just when Kyle thought turning up alone to a wedding - that was starting to feel like a college reunion - couldn't get any worse, it turns out Eric Cartman is invited too. But Eric may just be his saving grace, and Kyle decides to run with his inevitably crazy plan even if he thinks he knows better. But Kyle is a lot smarter than his college friends, he won't fall for Eric that easily... will he?





	I Won't Fall For You

**Author's Note:**

> So this took me forever to write. I came up with the idea about three years ago and I'm so glad to have written a version I'm finally happy with! Plus, the 'fake dating' trope is too good for Kyman. I couldn't resist. Nor could I resist tapping into Eric's charming side. I tend to not indulge in that side of him a lot when I write him (at least I don't think I do), but it's a lot of fun. Oh, and the song that's mentioned later in the fic is 'Mad About the Boy' by Dinah Washington which is great for Kyman feels. I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

On a warm, spring Saturday in Montauk, Kyle found himself sat in a packed church. There were still guests filing in, and every pew was murmuring in anticipation, waiting for Eloise’s arrival. Kyle, meanwhile, couldn’t wait to go home. Of course he would beam proudly at Eloise when she walked down the aisle, and would well up when he watched his friends exchange their vows, because he was still a romantic. Despite putting love and relationships on the backburner during law school and as he forged his career path, and despite the disappointments he had encountered during short-term relationships and brief flings. Even when he knew there were equally as important, fulfilling, and rewarding things as falling in love and committing to another person, he knew that when he did fall for somebody completely incredible romance just seemed to eclipse everything else. Surrounded by his old college friends who had all coupled up, he knew his relationship status would be the part of his life most scrutinised by them. The tired excuses, the fraying optimism, and any attempts to talk about his career would be met with pity, and Kyle knew that he would be the subject of sympathy when his back was turned. No matter how much he tried to believe he didn’t care, it only reflected how his lack of boyfriend or girlfriend was painfully noticeable to him too. That’s why he had decided not to book a hotel room, why he had taken the train up here and was planning on returning home as soon as his obligatory meal was finished. He would have opted to only attend the ceremony if he could, but Stuart and Eloise insisted he stay for the reception. And Kyle couldn’t disappoint them on their special day, especially when so much time and money was invested in it. It all looked magnificent, bridal-magazine perfect.

The old church had been recently refurbished, the gleaming pews were still rather sticky with polish, and the damp wooden walls still smelled of fresh white paint. Iridescent sunlight streamed through the Technicolor stained glass windows, contrasting with the creamy roses and silky bunting. Kyle’s smile quickly vanished however, when he saw a tall, husky guest enter the church. Despite years of not seeing each other, Kyle recognised him immediately. Dread robbed him of breath, but Kyle couldn’t look away.

Cartman’s hands were in his pockets as he searched for somewhere to sit, while Kyle was searching his brain for how the hell he had ended up here. Was it fate deciding that Kyle didn’t feel crappy enough today? Were they always destined to run into each other like this? Kyle continued to stare at Cartman as if he had all the answers, but when their eyes met Kyle turned his back on him. He couldn’t move, heart racing and skin burning in this stuffy church. Perhaps Cartman didn’t recognise him? Perhaps he wanted to avoid Kyle as well? But that was unlikely, since despite professing to hate Kyle with every fibre of his being, whenever they were together Cartman clung to Kyle like a yapping dog. Infuriating him, but desperate for his attention.

Kyle heard footsteps, goading and menacing, and then a hand smacking wood, close to his shoulder.

“Well, well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

Kyle looked up and saw Cartman grinning down at him. He always deployed his height as an intimidation tactic; Kyle was used to it by now. It only served to irritate him.

“How’s it going, Jewboy?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kyle hissed.

Cartman exaggerated the roll of his eyes like the wedding guests were his eager audience.

“Damn, nice to see you too, Kyle! Now scooch!”

Kyle balked. “What?”

Cartman leaned down, so he was right in Kyle’s face.

“ _Scooch_ ,” he said, before straightening up again. “Move your ass so I can sit down. You used to be smart, right?”

Kyle gritted his teeth, before looking around the pews for a vacant seat.

“Can’t you sit somewhere else?”

“Nope.” Cartman beamed. “Don’t know whether you noticed but Stuart and Eloise invited the entire city to this thing. So can you just be agreeable for once in your life and shift?”

Kyle scowled. “God damn it...”

Kyle didn’t look at Cartman as he shifted and he flopped back onto the pew as if it were a comfortable armchair. Kyle smelt his cologne immediately when he sat down; sharp and overpowering, giving Kyle a headache already. With Cartman’s scent lingering on his nose – his tongue even – his gaze couldn’t help but be drawn to him. Cartman’s hair was slick, shining with product, and his face was clean-shaven. Kyle remembered how little facial hair Cartman had in high school, how mad he was when those small, wispy tufts turned copper in colour. He started to shave every day then. Kyle’s smirk faded when he studied Cartman’s suit and saw it was clearly bespoke, and he rolled his eyes when he realised Cartman actually looked good. Polished, sophisticated, _handsome_. That was Cartman all over, Kyle thought, putting so much effort into the surface of things and making the most of what he had.

“How long has it been since we’ve seen each other?” Cartman asked, glancing at Kyle now. “Five years?”

“Six.”

“Aww, you’ve been keeping count!” Cartman said, placing a hand to his chest and throwing his other arm around the pew. He shifted in his seat so he was facing Kyle.

Kyle rolled his eyes at Cartman’s arm being almost wrapped around his shoulders. But he straightened his back, met Cartman’s unusual golden eyes, and smirked.

“Yeah, because every day without you in my life is a cause for celebration.”

Cartman wasn’t offended, Kyle knew he wouldn’t be. Just like he knew the crooked, half-smile on his face was a silent acceptance of Kyle’s unspoken challenge.

“How sweet,” he replied. “So what are you doing with yourself these days? Still doing law?

“Yeah, I’m a paralegal at a law firm in Brooklyn.” Kyle shifted so he was facing Cartman directly too. “Still doing... economics? Was it?”

“Yep, I’m in Wall Street now. A trader.”

Kyle looked Cartman up and down again, in light of this new information.

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Because it’s the perfect job for me and I’m fucking brilliant.”

“How brilliant?”

“Thirty million dollars a day, brilliant. You make that much?”

“No...” Kyle replied. “But if you one day get busted for insider trading don’t come crying to me for legal advice.”

Cartman feigned offence, raising his hand once again to an uninterested audience.

“Kyle!” he gasped. “I would never!”

“Really?” Kyle asked, chuckling before he could stop. “I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Cartman scoffed, looking away as if he was actually bristled by Kyle’s implication.

“As if I would need anybody’s help with anything ever.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, but bickering with Cartman now was the most comfortable and relaxed he had felt all day and he wanted to keep talking, he wanted to keep playing this familiar game. Besides, he was still curious as to why Cartman was here in the first place.

“Now can you tell me what the hell you’re doing here?” Kyle asked.

Cartman looked back at him again and smiled, ready for round two.

“I know Stuart through work. He’s a nice enough guy,” he said. They both glanced at Stuart who was standing at the altar already. He was beaming and nodding along to what his groomsmen were saying to him, though clearly shivering with nerves. “Perfect doormat for that high maintenance bitch to walk all over.”

“Hey!” Kyle snapped. “She’s my friend and she’s not a bitch!”

“She is high maintenance though, you can’t deny that.”

Kyle couldn’t really deny that, but everyone has their less than desirable qualities. He shrugged, avoided Cartman’s gaze for a minute.

“You don’t know her like I know her...”

“And how do you know her?”

“We met in college,” Kyle replied. He glanced around the church again, and caught sight of those familiar faces who stoked a deeper dread than Cartman ever did. He sighed, forgot himself. “This whole wedding feels like a college reunion, actually...”

“And why is that bad thing?”

Kyle looked at Cartman’s waiting face and furrowed his eyebrows.

“I never said it was,” he replied, the nerves trembled in his voice. How could he have been so stupid as to slip up?

“I can tell it is. I can tell just by looking at you, Kyle. I always know if you have sand in your vagina.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, knew Cartman would keep pressing the issue until he lost his temper and revealed everything in an angry, impatient rush. That wouldn’t be a victory, so he figured he may as well be honest. It’s not like Cartman would even care.

“Fine. It’s just...” Kyle paused, considered whether this was such a good idea. But Cartman nodded at him to go on, and he knew he couldn’t go back. “I know I’ve got a lot going for me right now, you know, career wise, and I don’t mind being single. But when you come alone to shit like this there’s like this huge microscope on you and your loneliness is so obvious and... I just know all my college friends will be asking me about my love life and will just be pitying me, instead of being interested in things that are actually fucking important-”

“So what?” Cartman cut in, leaning back. “Why do you care about what those assholes think?”

“I don’t, it just bugs me that-”

“You clearly do, otherwise you wouldn’t have sand in your vagina about it.”

“Will you stop interrupting me?” Kyle snapped. “And saying I have sand in my vagina?”

“Look, first off, people didn’t book a hotel room and drive all the way out here to feel fucking sorry for you, okay?” Cartman replied. “They came here for Eloise and Stuart. Two, who the hell wants to be in a relationship, anyway? You have way more opportunities when you’re single. You can do what and who ever you want and weddings are the perfect place for it!” He leaned closer to Kyle. “For example, my main objective for today is to get some hot piece of ass up to my hotel room and then-”

“You’re disgusting,” Kyle cut in, shifting away from him.

“I’m opportunistic,” Cartman corrected with a grin. “That’s not a bad thing. It’s better than moping around and being a miserable asshole all day. What are your plans for tonight, Kyle? Go home, watch _Bridget Jones_ , and jerk off before crying yourself to sleep?”

Kyle’s skin flared, embarrassed and pissed off.

“No!”

“Good! So just loosen up and have fun, okay?” Cartman replied, still smiling at him in a way that wasn’t entirely loathsome. “You might actually enjoy yourself.”

Kyle didn’t have a retort, staring at Cartman hard as he thought about his words. Maybe he _was_ being self-absorbed? Self-pitying? Maybe he was giving his old classmates ready to pity him exactly what they wanted? Didn’t he want to defy their expectations and rise above them? Maybe being here alone wasn’t so bad? Especially when he had entertaining company like Cartman, if only for a little while, before he started his search for a hook-up. Kyle didn’t have more time to think. The weathered church doors opened with a creek, and he stood up with the other guests as the organ started.

* * *

Kyle was expecting to part ways with Cartman after the ceremony ended – probably with a few smirking insults exchanged, and only a slight pang of disappointment as he watched Cartman walk away, with his advice still ringing in his ears. Kyle expected to see him at the hotel later, cosying up to some unsuspecting guy at the bar, loading him with drinks and his ridiculous amount of charm. And perhaps their eyes would meet again, perhaps they would smile at each other from across the room when Kyle left. But that didn’t happen.

Cartman remained by Kyle’s side instead as they waited for Stuart and Eloise to leave the church. The crowd burst into applause and cheers, a cue for the church bells to chime and for sparkling confetti to be thrown. Kyle craned his neck to see the beaming couple sharing one-armed embraces with proud friends and relatives, and sighed. How could he remain moody on such a happy day?

“Beautiful ceremony, wasn’t it?” he asked Cartman.

“Yeah...” he replied, before he shook his head and snickered. “I can’t believe you cried though.”

Kyle cringed. He had tried so hard to conceal his tears. He had pressed his wrists to his eyes the moment they started to sting and blur.

“I didn’t!”

“You did!” Cartman laughed. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you sniffling.”

Kyle shrugged, he shouldn’t have to apologise for having emotions, for realising how significant and special the vows Stuart and Eloise exchanged were.

“I like weddings, so what?”

“Even when you’re being a miserable bitch?”

Kyle matched Cartman’s smirk.

“Yes, even then...”

Cartman chuckled, infectious enough to break the competitive seal on Kyle’s smirk. He relaxed his shoulders and smiled with his teeth, chuckling softly.

“It’s nice to see you smiling,” Cartman commented, softer than usual.

The gentle, unfamiliar tone made Kyle’s skin prickle, and he arched his eyebrows at Cartman like he was giving him a chance to correct his mistake. If it was indeed a mistake. But the words were so quiet, floating in the air like confetti, slipping out of his lips like a phantom. Cartman’s eyes widened for a second, and he coughed into his fist.

“It’s just that being all sour and grumpy isn’t a good look on you,” he replied, before grinning. “It makes you more irritating than usual.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, but his smile didn’t disappear.

“I just figured that not at least trying to have a good time wouldn’t make this day any better.”

“I think I had something to do with that.”

Kyle would never admit that was true, but before he could respond with something deflecting or witty, a voice called out to him.

“Kyle!”

“Hi!” Kyle replied, when he saw Stuart and Eloise. He threw his arms around her. “Congratulations! You look beautiful!”

Eloise nodded when she pulled away, face flushed and mascara slightly smudged at her lower lashes.

“Thank you.”

Kyle beamed at her, before shaking Stuart’s hand.

“Congratulations, Stuart.”

“Yeah, congratulations, man...” Cartman added, shaking Stuart’s hand after Kyle.

“Thanks, Eric.”

Eloise’s eyes lit up like Kyle knew they always did when she got an idea, when the cogs of organisation started to whir in her head. She pointed between him and Cartman.

“Have you two met?” she asked.

Kyle stiffened, suddenly sheepish, and glanced at Cartman for an explanation. He would have a more succinct summary of their relationship than Kyle did.

“Oh, Kyle and I go way back,” he replied, grinning wickedly and not taking his eyes off Kyle.

“Really?” Stuart asked.

Cartman nodded, and Kyle felt his temper simmer under his calculating, goading stare. He looked to Stuart and Eloise instead with as polite of a smile as he could muster.

“Oh wow, I didn’t know that!” Eloise gushed. “We could have set you two up! Wouldn’t that have been great?”

Kyle’s stomach clenched, mortified, and he was glad to see that even Cartman looked flustered by the notion. His smile was slipping and he was struggling with his words for once.

Kyle shook his head. “Oh no, I don’t think so-”

“Why not?” Eloise asked. “You two could have come together today. There’s nothing worse than going to a wedding alone, huh?” she cocked her head when she looked at Kyle, frowning. “And you haven’t dated anybody in so long, Kyle, it’s time you put yourself back out there.”

Kyle pursed his lips, choking back a scream, a hysterical screeching retort that would make him appear even more pathetic.

“Hmm...” he nodded, fists clenched so hard at his sides that his fingertips were sure to leave sore dents in his palms.

Not only had his faint, brief optimism for today been snatched, but it had been ripped up by the friend he was trying so hard to please, and in front of one his childhood best friends and arch rivals. Who apparently he should have brought along as a date to this wedding because it was better than being an alone, sad sack of shit. Maybe Cartman was right, maybe she was a bitch. He cringed even more when he realised Cartman was still beside him, no doubt struggling to contain his laughter. Kyle wished he would release his trademark cackle; at least he would have an excuse to punch him and expel some of this rage out of his system. God, Kyle didn’t know if he could handle the ride to the reception in Cartman’s car, if he had the will to attend the reception at all.

“Well, we should go,” Stuart said, tugging at Eloise’s hand. “We’ll see you guys at the hotel, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cartman replied, remnants of laughter in his voice. “See you then...”

Kyle nodded, teeth still gritted.

* * *

They sped down the picturesque back roads in silence. Kyle didn’t even remind Cartman that he could kill them both if he went any faster, nor did he make a joke about Cartman clearly feeling he had to compensate for something with his flashy sports car. He barely noticed the ridiculous speed, couldn’t think of anything clever and scathing enough to insult him. His anger was still engulfing Eloise’s condescending words, the embarrassment he felt had made him shrink like ruined laundry.

“Hey...”

Cartman’s voice floated into his ears but Kyle ignored him. He was still staring out of the window, eyes following bright blue sky.

“Hey, Jewboy?”

Kyle didn’t answer. He couldn’t bother to entertain him, he wasn’t in the mood.

“Kyle!” Cartman snapped, clicking his fingers in Kyle’s face and making him jump.

“God damn it, what?!”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing...” Kyle murmured, folding his arms and looking out the window again.

Cartman scoffed. “Seriously? I could tell you were upset by what Eloise said.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. For once, couldn’t they stop trying to be one step ahead of each other? Couldn’t Cartman stop reading him like a damn book and analysing him like he was an obstacle to overcome rather than a friend to just look out for?

“Oh, wow, could you?” Kyle snapped. “Well, if you’re so smart and know me so fucking well then why don’t you just figure out for yourself why I’m upset?”

“It’s pretty obvious,” Cartman replied, not bristled by Kyle. He kept his eyes on the road. “She humiliated you.”

Kyle flushed, no matter how pissed off he was it wasn’t quite that severe. But Kyle knew that – in Cartman’s eyes – belittling and embarrassing someone was the worst thing you could do. And it warranted horrific revenge.

“That’s kind of a strong word.”

“It’s true though, right?” Cartman asked, glancing at him now. “You’re so proud, Kyle, I know it pissed you off.” He shook his head and muttered, “Bitch...”

“She’s not a bitch...”

“Are you sure?”

Kyle glanced at Cartman and chuckled despite himself, not even caring that he was essentially admitting defeat. Cartman didn’t even seem to gloat, he just smiled to himself. Kyle gave him a gentle nudge.

“Hey! I’m driving here!” Cartman laughed. “Come on, you were doing so well. Don’t let her get to you. You said so yourself that you don’t mind being single-”

“Maybe I wasn’t being entirely honest,” Kyle cut in, fidgeting in his seat irritably.

“Okay. So what is the truth?” Cartman asked, before smiling at Kyle and adopting a ridiculous, honeyed tone. “We’re all friends here, Kyle. This is a safe space.”

Kyle arched an eyebrow at him and scoffed. “Please. Anywhere you are is the opposite of a safe space.”

Cartman rolled his eyes and smirked.

“Just tell me...” he said, impatient enough for Kyle to recognise the words as genuine Cartman, but also soft enough to coax him into telling him everything.

It was as if time had shaped a strange, fragile trust between them that Kyle never noticed, and definitely never saw coming. After all the years they had known each other, the terrifying, bizarre experiences shared, and the fleeting, pristine moments of friendship that Kyle treasured even now, how could they not have bonded? Kyle supposed it was only natural that they should trust each other, when they knew each other so well, had experienced the best and worst of each other. He took a deep breath.

“Okay, I just...” Kyle paused, glanced between the view outside and Cartman’s waiting face. “I like being with someone, I miss _having_ someone.”

A dent appeared in Cartman’s brow.

“But what about all the compromises, and the irritation, and the break-ups?” he asked. “You really miss that?”

Kyle shrugged, knowing that all the passion, and devotion, and butterflies outshone everything Cartman just listed.

“I kinda do,” he replied, with a fond smile. “It’s all worth it when you meet someone special.” He groaned and brought his hands to his face. “God, even just a short-term thing would see me through today.”

“Like what Eloise suggested?”

Kyle laughed, uncovering his face and shaking his head. Eloise’s suggestion was amusing enough to lift him out of his self-pitying slump.

“Oh God, can you imagine if they’d set us up on a blind date or something?”

Cartman was smirking, but he shrugged.

“I mean, it wouldn’t be a total disaster.”

“No, no I guess not...” Kyle replied. “We could have just hung out like old times.”

“Kinda like right now?” Cartman asked, taking his eyes off the road to look at Kyle.

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Well, then why don’t we see if Eloise’s matchmaking instincts were right?”

Kyle had already opened his mouth to retort, but clamped it shut when he realised what Cartman was implying. He kept glancing between Kyle and the road, needing an answer that Kyle didn’t know how to give. For the first time ever Kyle was actually curious as to what Cartman wanted to hear, his nerves fizzed inside him and he laughed.

“Wh-what?”

“You wanted to go to this thing with a date so your college friends wouldn’t interrogate you about your love life, so if we turned up at the reception together that would take all that pressure off of you, right?” Cartman asked, but didn’t look at Kyle as he spoke. He kept his eyes trained on the road, as if seeing Kyle’s reaction would make him falter, make him retract this offer. If he was even offering Kyle anything.

“Um, yeah, I guess, but why would you want to do that?” Kyle replied. “Why would I want to pretend that you’re my boyfriend?”

“Well, if you’re gonna have a fake boyfriend then you really should have an expert liar.” Cartman grinned, puffing out his chest. “Plus, we’ve known each other our whole lives. We wouldn’t have to try too hard to make this convincing.”

Kyle scoffed. “Yeah, because every couple fights as much as we do...”

“Hey, a lot of couples do,” Cartman pointed out. “We could be one of those couples.”

“I still don’t know what’s in it for you though.”

“I’ve made an art of doing shit like this since I was eight, and to be honest, it’s pretty fucking fun,” Cartman admitted.

“More fun than hooking up with some random guy?”

“Oh, I’ll still make time for that at the end of the evening. Besides, wouldn’t it feel just a little great to trick those patronising assholes?”

Kyle couldn’t help but smile to himself at the thought. He wanted to rise above it, to be dignified and gracious, to be supportive of Eloise. But after how she made him feel - giving him a taste of the evening to come - a night of pranking and scheming with his duplicitous friend now sounded a lot more fun. Especially if it meant avoiding infuriating questions about his love life.

“Just a little,” Kyle replied. “And it _does_ sound fun.”

“See!” Cartman laughed. “So what do you say, Jewboy?”

“Fuck it.” Kyle grinned. “Let’s do it.”

“Awesome,” Cartman replied, matching his grin.

“You better watch the Jew comments though,” Kyle pointed out. “I don’t think that will come across as very convincing. ‘Jewboy’ isn’t exactly a cute pet name.”

“Fair enough... sweetheart.”

Kyle cringed at the word, discomfiting to his ears when it came out of Cartman’s mouth. Their sheepish, amused glances soon suffocated the tension in the car, and they both erupted with laughter.

“Maybe we’re a couple who don’t have pet names?” Kyle suggested.

“Yeah...” Cartman nodded. He tightened his hands around the steering wheel. “Yeah, definitely.”

* * *

Most of the guests were still finding their seats when Kyle and Cartman arrived at the hotel. A long table covered with a gilded cloth was placed by the entrance to the ballroom, with dozens of place cards on top of it. The guests’ names were written in elegant cursive, illustrating the seating arrangements. Kyle gulped, they had hit an obstacle already. How were they supposed to pull this off for the next few hours?

“Shit.”

“What?” Cartman asked.

“The tables,” Kyle replied. “If we came together wouldn’t we be sat at the same one?”

Cartman nodded, eyes scanning the extravagant lobby for a solution before he turned to Kyle with a grin.

“Not a problem...”

He made his way over to the table before he could say anything else and Kyle hurried after him. They both searched for their names, and Kyle saw that Cartman was to sit at a table that seemed to be populated with only men. High-powered guys in suits, Kyle imagined, just like Cartman. Whereas Kyle was sat at a table with his college friends and their significant others that he had only ever made small talk with at events such as these. A woman called Marie was to sit by Kyle, and he wondered if that was another one of Eloise’s matchmaking plans that she was keen to set in motion. Too bad another scheme was about to take place. Kyle couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he had been promoted from pawn to accomplice.

“There!” Cartman said, switching the place cards around so he had taken Marie’s place.

“You don’t think Stuart and Eloise will notice?” Kyle asked. The apprehensive question was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“No way,” Cartman replied. “They’re probably loading up on champagne as we speak and will be hammered within an hour. Guaranteed. So... shall we?”

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows, before he noticed that Cartman had held out his hand for him to take. But Kyle just stared at it, wondering if this _was_ a risk he could take. What if it blew up in their faces? What if he looked like a complete idiot and embarrassed himself so much that he would alienate himself completely from this group of friends? Could they really pull this off? Could he really go an entire evening pretending Eric Cartman was his boyfriend? Would his conscience even allow it?

Cartman sighed, sensing his trepidation but he didn’t place his hand back at his side.

“If you want out, Kyle, then this is it. You can switch those place cards back around and we can forget all about this.”

Kyle glanced at the table, saw the frustrating and disheartening evening ahead of him if he didn’t take this opportunity. No matter how crazy or potentially disastrous, he knew deep down he would kick himself if he chickened out.

“No,” he replied, grabbing Cartman’s hand. “No, I want to do this.”

“Then let’s go.” Cartman grinned, lighting an emboldening spark inside Kyle.

They entered the ballroom together and made their way to the table. Gentle, disembodied string music filled the room, keeping the murmured conversations and chuckles of every table afloat.

“Kyle!” Lindsay called from their table. The other couples chatted amongst themselves but she had stood up and waved.

Kyle returned the wave and smiled, though he could feel it wobbling under the weight of his sudden nerves.

“Oh God...”

“Relax,” Cartman murmured. “We’ve got this.”

Kyle nodded, staring straight ahead as they approached their table.

“Look everyone, it’s Kyle!” Lindsay announced.

Everybody looked up from their conversation to greet Kyle with the same saccharine exuberance that made him cringe slightly when Cartman was still holding his hand.

“Hi, guys...” he smiled nonetheless.

Cartman coughed into his fist and Kyle remembered himself.

“Oh, yeah, um, everyone this is my... boyfriend, Cartma-” Kyle stopped himself, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head. “I mean, _Eric_.” He would really have to watch that. “Um, Eric this is everybody. That’s Lindsay and Tom, and that’s Steve and Natalie, and that’s David and Sophie, over there.”

“Hey, everybody,” Cartman beamed as he and Kyle pulled up a chair. “It’s really great to meet you all.”

He shook everyone’s hand as he sat down, and Kyle found himself feeling suddenly adrift without Cartman’s hand in his.

“Nice to meet you too, man,” Steve said, accepting Cartman’s short, vigorous handshake.

“Kyle, we didn’t know you were seeing someone!” Natalie smiled, leaning across the table.

“Oh, well, you know me,” Kyle replied with a faint chuckle. “I’m pretty private about stuff like that.”

“You’re telling us!” Sophie added. “So how long have you guys been seeing each other?”

Kyle looked at Cartman. “Uh-”

“About six months now,” he replied. “To be honest, coming to the wedding was kind of last minute, wasn’t it Kyle? Didn’t know if I would get the time off work. But my secretary rescheduled some meetings, and here I am.”

Kyle’s friends nodded, deeming Cartman’s response acceptable and Kyle sighed to himself in relief.

“What kind of work do you do, Eric?” David asked, taking a sip of his wine.

“I’m on Wall Street. A trader.”

Kyle watched them exchange looks again. Impressed rather than confused, thankfully.

“That’s great,” Tom remarked.

“Must be a pretty demanding job, right?” Steve asked.

“Oh, for sure.” Cartman nodded. “But you gotta let off some steam and have a little fun once in a while, you know? You gotta make time for that special someone in your life.” Cartman raked his gaze over Kyle, but before Kyle could question it he had turned away. “Plus, Kyle and I just love Montauk. We both work so hard, it’s nice to get away from the city.”

If Kyle wasn’t so enthralled by Cartman’s spiel he would have laughed at how ludicrous it all was. But his friends seemed convinced, and if Kyle didn’t know any better, he would have been as well. He was broken out of his revelry by Sophie nudging his arm.

Kyle saw that she was grinning, and she bowed her head.

“Looks like you’ve struck gold here, sweetie!” she gushed.

“What?” Kyle asked, lowering his head too. “Oh, yeah, Eric is really... something.”

Natalie leaned over, joining their conversation.

“And Wall Street?” she added. “You always did like those driven types.”

Kyle nodded, as if he had always known he liked any sort of ‘type’.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess so...”

He sat up straight again, reeling from his friends’ approval and in disbelief they had bought into this charade. He couldn’t blame them, Cartman was a terrific salesperson. Right now, he was talking to Lindsay and Tom, telling them about the imaginary activities he and Kyle supposedly loved to do during their fictional vacations here, including recommendations on the best, quaint restaurants to dine in, and the cosiest bed & breakfasts to stay at.

The corners of Kyle’s mouth started to tug upwards at how wonderful it all sounded, how perfectly Cartman played the role of a pretty great boyfriend. But he pursed his lips before he could get too carried away, and took a sip from the complementary glass of wine that was in front of him. This was Eric Cartman he was dealing with, after all. Kyle told himself he knew better than to get fooled with the rest of them.

* * *

After an hour of catching up with his friends, Kyle decided to head to the bar and was unsurprised when Cartman followed him. As much fun as they were both having weaving elaborate stories of dates and crowd-pleasing anecdotes, Kyle knew that Cartman would quickly lose interest if he wasn’t there. Tonight, they were a team. They couldn’t leave each other stranded. And when they reached the bar, backs turned to their table, they laughed triumphantly.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Kyle asked, taking a seat. “Like, certifiably insane.”

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” Cartman replied, smug as ever as he leaned against the bar.

“My friends _are_ pretty impressed by you.”

“ _Pretty_ impressed? We’re the best couple at that table, Kyle!”

“Alright, alright, don’t get too carried away...”

“Fuck you, I wanna celebrate,” Cartman replied, pulling up a seat next to Kyle. “Champagne?”

Kyle nodded but furrowed his eyebrows.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll pay for my own though...” he said, reaching into his jacket pocket and finding his wallet.

“Why don’t you want me to buy you a drink?”

“Why would you want to buy me a drink?”

“To flaunt how much cash I have, obviously,” Cartman replied. “What’s the point of being wealthy if you can’t rub it in people’s faces?” A grin spread across his face and he lowered his head. “Besides, I gotta take care of my man, right?”

Kyle grimaced, tucking his wallet back inside his pocket.

“Ew, okay, just stop talking like that,” he replied. “I’ll stroke your ego just this once.”

“Great.” Cartman nodded, still laughing. “Bartender, your finest bottle of champagne.”

Kyle balked. “ _A bottle?”_

“Yeah?” Cartman replied, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Who buys champagne by the glass?”

Kyle huffed and rolled his eyes. “God damn it, fine.”

“You can just charge it to my room,” Cartman said to the bartender.

“Not a problem, sir. I’ll just need the room number and the name it’s booked under.”

“Cartman, and its room one six zero seven.”

“Excellent.”

“So, how’s work?” Cartman asked Kyle, when the bartender went to fetch their champagne.

“Huh?”

“How’s work?”

“You’re really interested?”

“Sure.” Cartman shrugged. “Besides, I need to know as much as possible about you if we’re going to pull this off.”

“You already know plenty about me-”

Kyle was interrupted by the champagne cork popping. He jumped at the sound, watched the golden drink bubble and froth over the rim of the bottle. He was unused to such extravagance, especially when the rest of the bar seemed to be lined with icy beer bottles and colourful cocktails. But Cartman was grinning at the bottle approvingly. He never had a problem with showing off.

“Well, according to you I have a six year gap of history that I’ve completely missed out on,” Cartman remarked. “I don’t even know what law school you graduated from.”

“Columbia.”

“Of course you did, your over-achieving ass would only ever have graduated from the best,” Cartman replied.

Kyle could tell he was trying to bury the compliment in spite, but it was so half-hearted Kyle could easily see below the surface. He smiled to himself, his cheeks warming with flattery he hoped wasn’t noticeable. The bartender had poured the champagne into long flutes and handed one to Kyle.

“Thank you,” he said, taking a sip.

“And you like your job, right?” Cartman asked.

“Yeah, of course I do.” Kyle nodded. “I mean, the money’s pretty good, the work is challenging, and I haven’t fucked up yet. I’m haven’t lost a case yet and I’m hoping I can keep that up...”

“But?”

Kyle looked up from his drink. “But what?”

“I don’t know.” Cartman shrugged. “Just seemed like you were heading towards a ‘but’.”

Infuriating as Cartman’s guessing game was – especially when he was rather skilled at it – Kyle supposed it saved him a lot of time trying to overcome his pride. God knows that may have taken them all night. When Cartman found him so predictable, he could just come right out and say it.

“But...” Kyle sighed. “I don’t want to do this forever.”

“What would you like to do instead?” Cartman asked, not bothering with a ‘why?’ when so many people would. “Do you know?”

“I’d love to work on an international level,” Kyle replied, sitting up straighter. He could feel a warm exuberance swell in his chest, one that always appeared when he was talking about this particular aspiration. “Like, work with aid agencies, and governments, help people who have been mistreated... just help the less fortunate all over the world. Human rights, that’s what I’m really interested in. The world can be so unfair, and chaotic, and imbalanced, and if I can help to even it all out by just an inch, even if I can only bring one family stability and opportunity then I’d be more than happy. Making just a little difference can go a long way, and I feel like I have to do my part. I thought that’s what I was working towards in college and law school...” he sobered only slightly. “I’m still working towards it now. But I know I’m not gonna save the world overnight. And this job really is great. It’s my first job in this field, and it’s good experience, and it’s giving me contacts that could help me further my career. I just need to be patient, that’s all. But I’m scared that I’ll get complacent and forget about it all together.”

Cartman shook his head and put down his drink. “That’s not gonna happen.”

“How do you know?”

“Because listening to you talk like that...” Cartman shook his head again, before smiling at Kyle with a rare fondness. “You haven’t changed one bit. Not from who you were in college, or in high school, not even from when we were kids. You were always giving some cheesy, gay speech about tolerance, or on a fucking mission to put an end to something you thought was unjust and wrong... even if got in the way of one of my super sweet ideas.”

Kyle chuckled and rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his drink.

“But looking back, I wouldn’t have had you any other way, Jewboy,” Cartman continued. “Somebody has to call the world out on its bullshit, and I can’t think of anybody more self-righteous, and smart, and annoying... or as _passionate_ as you, Kyle.” He made a point of staring into Kyle’s eyes, encouraging and almost hypnotic. “You don’t ever get ‘complacent’ about anything you believe in. That’s just not you.”

Reeling, Kyle made a soft, disbelieving hum in response. He was still searching Cartman’s eyes but all he saw was his shocked reflection staring back. He tried to hide his smile behind his glass.

“Unlike me,” Cartman added, releasing Kyle from his constricting gaze. It left Kyle dizzy. He shook his head and tutted. “So much wasted potential, Kyle. To think, if I hadn’t let so many of my awesome ideas slack as a kid, I could be the fucking president by now.”

Kyle snickered. “It was your hubris, not your laziness that got in the way, fatass. Or it may have just been a fatal combination of the two.”

“Either way, I’ve still made a fucking awesome life for myself. But let’s face it, I was never going to be a loser.”

Kyle smiled, tilted his head.

“Never did I think I’d see the day Eric Cartman became self-aware.”

Cartman shrugged, smirking as he sipped his champagne.

“I’m all grown-up, Jewboy,” he replied, leaning closer to Kyle. “Isn’t it fantastic?”

“Yeah...” Kyle nodded with a smile. “Yeah, it really is.”

Cartman snickered to himself, shaking his head as if it would disguise the rising colour on his cheeks. He probably wasn’t expecting a sincere answer to his sarcastic question, but Kyle wasn’t going to let him deflect from what was the most honest exchange they had ever had.

“Alright, enough of this mushy crap,” Cartman said as he topped up his glass already. “Tell me what’s up with Lindsay and Tom, because I’m pretty sure they both wanna fuck me.”

Kyle choked on his mouthful of champagne, spitting it back into the glass. He couldn’t help but laugh as he coughed, raspy, and his throat burning. He punched Cartman’s arm for laughing too at his undignified display, but couldn’t really blame him.

* * *

They soon returned to their table when their meals were being served. As much as Kyle would’ve loved to spend the rest of the evening by the bar, ordering more drinks and catching up with Cartman, he was pretty hungry, and Cartman was too. An army of waiters had marched out of the kitchen, and Cartman downed what was left in his glass and made a beeline for the table with Kyle following him.

“This chicken is incredible!” Lindsay said, cutting off another piece. “Isn’t it, Eric?”

Kyle and Cartman exchanged amused glances. They had already established at the bar that Lindsay may have had a slight crush on him, and laughing about it was the only way to quell Kyle’s inexplicable irritation at the possibility.

“Delicious,” Cartman replied, before he looked at Kyle’s plate. “What is that? Salmon?”

“Yeah, it’s really tasty.”

Cartman frowned. “Doesn’t look too substantial.”

Kyle paused, arching an eyebrow at him.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying, if I ate that I would be hungry again in an hour.”

“Aren’t you always hungry?” Kyle teased.

Cartman chuckled, shaking his head like he saw it coming. Kyle smirked and continued to eat his fish.

“Besides, look at the colour!” Cartman added.

“What’s wrong with the colour?” Kyle asked.

“It’s pink!”

“Yeah, so? It’s supposed to be pink!”

Cartman scoffed. “That’s so fucking girly...”

“Christ, how old are you? Eight?” Kyle laughed, short and incredulous.

“I can’t believe that any self-respecting man would eat pink fish...” Cartman replied. “No offense, Steve.”

Steve looked up from his food, oblivious to their bickering.

“Don’t listen to him, Steve, he’s talking crap, as usual,” Kyle said regardless, before he turned to Cartman. “And besides, there’s nothing feminine or masculine about the colour of a fish. Gender has nothing to do with it because it’s fucking fish!”

Cartman sighed. “Whatever, I guess I’m just manlier than you...” He had returned to cutting into his chicken when he added; “babe...”

Kyle shot Cartman an exasperated smirk before he even registered the pet name. But his main concern now was proving his point to Cartman, to secure another tiny victory to add to the plenty of others he had achieved over the years. For now, he could let the ‘babe’ slide. Especially when Cartman didn’t seem fazed at all, challenging Kyle with his own infuriating smirk.

“Really?” Kyle asked. “Because I would’ve thought being comfortable enough to eat supposedly ‘girly’ fish, would make me more secure in my masculinity than someone who would avoid it all together.”

Cartman’s eyes widened and he scoffed, like he couldn’t believe Kyle would accuse him of that.

“I’m secure in my masculinity!”

“Then do you wanna try a little bit?”

Cartman studied Kyle’s plate with his tongue pressed to his cheek. Kyle cut Cartman off a little piece with the side of his fork, the fillet so soft he didn’t need a knife. He then stabbed the juicy, flaky piece of fish and held it up to Cartman’s mouth.

“Well?” Kyle pressed. “Are you man enough?”

Cartman grinned, before leaning forward and eating the piece of fish straight from Kyle’s fork.

“How is it?”

Cartman nodded along as he chewed, swallowing it without a problem.

“Not bad...” he replied. “For pink fish. My chicken is still better though.”

Kyle watched him cut a piece of his chicken, unsurprised when the fork was held up to his mouth.

“Wanna try it?”

Honestly, Kyle was reluctant. As hypocritical as it was, he was too proud to actually let Cartman _feed_ him. But did that mean he should just bow down to Cartman’s challenge? Nodding, he then leaned forward and ate the piece of chicken straight from the fork like Cartman had. Kyle knew that if he hadn’t accepted the challenge, Cartman would’ve ripped on him all evening. Instead, he had to settle for Cartman snickering as he watched him chew, like it was the most enthralling sight in the world.

“Well?” Cartman asked, once Kyle had swallowed his food.

“It was good,” Kyle conceded. “A little dry though.”

Cartman snickered and shook his head. “You’re the most disobliging person I’ve ever met.”

“I could say the same about you.” Kyle smiled, staring straight into Cartman’s goading, golden eyes.

“Jesus, get a room you two!”

Kyle jolted at Sophie’s joke, and the laughter around the table warmed his face immediately. He sat up in his seat and tried to plaster on a smile. Glancing at Cartman he saw he was trying to compose himself too. They may have got carried away but at least it was convincing.

“Seriously, it’s making me sick,” Sophie added, taking a sip of her wine.

“I can’t believe we still haven’t asked how you guys met!” Natalie gushed.

Lindsay’s eyes widened and she put her napkin down. “Oh my God, yes, tell us!”

Kyle froze, they hadn’t discussed any of this in the car. They had no formal plan, they had just been winging it so far and pulling it off. He looked to Cartman only to find that he was waiting for him to speak. But Kyle couldn’t weave elaborate, entertaining bullshit like Cartman could. All he knew was how to make a case, how to construct an argument. This evening aside, Kyle preferred to deal in honesty, but he knew this was a question he could answer truthfully.

“Uh, we’ve actually known each other our entire lives,” he said. “Eric is from South Park, where I grew up, and we met in preschool-”

“And we’ve always argued, even then.”

They all laughed at Cartman’s interjection, and Kyle smiled at him appreciatively.

“But he was one of my best friends,” Kyle continued. “We spent practically every waking minute of our childhoods together, and even when we used to get into the most horrible fights, by the next day we could eat lunch together and hang out at each other’s houses playing video games, no problem.”

“Awww!” the girls at the table said in unison.

“It wasn’t the most conventional friendship...” Kyle murmured, he could feel his face warming again.

“So what happened then?” Tom asked. “Did you guys just reconnect as adults and it went from there or...?”

Before Kyle could think of an answer Cartman jumped in; “Actually, I’ve liked Kyle for a really long time.”

Kyle’s body stiffened and he stared at Cartman with wide eyes, just as intrigued as everybody else at the table. Cartman glanced at Kyle, fidgeting in his seat before he continued.

“Yeah, I started having feelings for him in middle school,” he said. “I don’t know, maybe I always liked him in that way, but it just didn’t occur to me until I hit puberty and my fucking hormones went haywire.”

Everyone laughed, including Kyle, soft and fascinated. He wished he wasn’t part of an audience, he wished Cartman was saying all this to him when they were alone, so he could decipher if it was genuine or not... how could he even consider that possibility? Of course it wasn’t genuine! This whole thing was a charade! Wasn’t it? Kyle didn’t know if Cartman was maybe too good of an actor, but he wanted to hear more.

“I just started looking at him differently, and all those qualities I had taken for granted when we were kids just seemed to shine, you know? And I felt like a fucking idiot for not paying enough attention before.” Cartman’s gaze hit Kyle like a spotlight, leaving him stunned, but never truly _leaving_ him. He held Kyle’s attention like he would never let it go. “Here was this kind, intelligent, strong... _beautiful_.” Kyle had to bite the inside of his mouth to stop himself from smiling at Cartman’s emphasis of the word. “Near enough fucking perfect guy in front of me and I had been blind all these years.” 

Kyle could hardly breathe, confused and captivated. He had to get Cartman alone and press him for answers somehow, find out what the hell he was doing. But for now, he just sat there, smiling and speechless, like anybody would be when their boyfriend spoke so adoringly about them. Cruelly, Cartman turned away to address Kyle’s intrigued friends.

“So a couple years went by, and in high school Kyle was the one to actually summon the balls to admit he liked me too. And I was over the fucking moon because I realised I hadn’t missed my chance. We dated until graduation and decided that maybe it was best to go our separate ways in college. You know, all the pressure, and the responsibilities, and the distance... we didn’t want to hold each other back, no matter how much we cared for each other. But at least we had that, we did care for each other and we always would. We always _will_. I don’t know about Kyle, but I always thought we would pick up where we left off some day. Fate would do its thing and it would all work out. And wouldn’t you know it, Kyle met Eloise in college, and I met Stuart in work. They set us up without even knowing we had all this history, and here we are.”

Cartman reclined in his chair with the widest smile on his face, smug and gloating like a salesman making the pitch of a lifetime.

“Wow...” Tom nodded.

“Good for you guys.” Steve smiled.

“Aww, that is so precious!” Natalie gushed.

“It’s so romantic!” Sophie added.

“How was it?” Lindsay asked. “Seeing each other again after all these years?”

Kyle glanced at Cartman, raked his gaze over him and held it there. He hoped it would lure Cartman in just like his enchanting golden eyes had captured him.

“Weird, but in a really good way,” Kyle replied. “Within five minutes – hell, five seconds – it felt just like old times.”

Cartman saw that Kyle was staring at him and matched his gaze, leaning in a little closer.

“As soon as I walked in the room and saw him all those feelings came rushing back,” Cartman added. “I was so god damn happy, but nervous too. I could barely keep standing-”

“But you would never show it,” Kyle cut in, a grin spreading across his face.

“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction,” Cartman replied, mirroring him completely.

“It’s funny...” Kyle went on, turning to his friends. “How you can reunite with people, after so many years apart and still recognise them, but also be so astounded by who they’ve become.” He looked at Cartman and beamed. “I was so proud of him.”

Cartman blinked, not expecting Kyle’s words. He nodded, a smile flickering on his face before his eyes fell to Kyle’s shoulders. His lips were parted and Kyle wanted to meet his gaze, to figure out what he was thinking in that irrational, contradictory head of his. Cartman wrapped his arm around his shoulders and Kyle didn’t protest, not even when he was pulled closer to him, welcoming the warmth of his body and that sweet, stinging cologne.

“I didn’t ever want to let you down again.” Cartman smiled, and Kyle didn’t know if he was the only one meant to hear it.

* * *

Kyle found himself alone with Cartman again once the wedding cake had been cut and all his friends had taken to the dancefloor. He watched them as they laughed, and swayed, and pressed each other close. He watched rather than listened to their conversations, the words indecipherable from where he was sitting. Eyes were either drawn to lips or lost in those of their partners, granting them undivided attention. Weddings have such intoxicating but humbling atmospheres, even the oldest, most precarious couples gorge themselves on the memory of being happily in love. Kyle missed that sort of connection, one that envelops you and concentrates the world down to two people only.

“So?”

Kyle jolted at the sound of Cartman’s voice, pulling him away from his wistful daydream.

“What?”

“Admit it.” Cartman grinned. “You’re having a good time.”

Kyle smiled, glanced at the dancefloor before his gaze returned to Cartman. He had stayed longer than he ever thought he would, and he wondered if that was because Cartman was yet to leave his side.

“Yeah, I am.” He nodded. “I didn’t think I would, but I am.”

“Lying is pretty fun, huh?”

Kyle chuckled under his breath and shook his head.

“Maybe that’s not the only reason I’m having fun...” he replied, raking his gaze over Cartman almost in appreciation.

He raised his eyebrows, and Kyle could tell he was trying so hard to be wry. But that surprised, flattered gleam in his eyes gave him away and tugged at the corners of Kyle’s mouth.

“I never thought I’d say this, but... thank you, Cartman, for making this night bearable.”

“No problem,” he replied, averting his eyes and hiding his smile.

But Kyle wanted to find it, not to provoke his proud, stubborn friend but just so he could see how his words affected him, so he could be assured that Cartman knew just how grateful he was. Without him, it would have been a totally different, depressing evening.

“I can’t believe we’ve pulled this off...” Kyle laughed, shaking his head. “But I gotta say, that ‘how we met’ story was pretty impressive.”

Kyle could’ve sworn he heard Cartman gulp, and he was still struggling to look at him.

“Thanks, Jewboy,” he replied.

“I have no idea how you can come up with all that shit on the fly...” Kyle sighed, eyes trained on Cartman. He didn’t want to know why he so desperately needed Cartman to look at him. To confirm something, perhaps? Kyle knew he may as well ask the question he’d been dying to ask for an hour or so. “Was it all made up?”

Cartman laughed softly under his breath, and Kyle saw his eyes study the floor like he could draw his thoughts on it with his gaze alone. He finally grinned, and met Kyle’s eyes.

“Well, every lie has a little glimmer of truth.”

Kyle had no idea what to say, if that was what he wanted to hear, or what it all meant. Suddenly, he didn’t want to press for more, the thought of it terrified him. So he just smiled, and returned his attention to the dancing couples, hopefully signalling the end of this nerve-wracking conversation.

“You wanna go up there?”

“Huh?”

Cartman jumped when Kyle looked at him, and he furrowed his eyebrows as Cartman fidgeted in his seat. He gestured to the dancefloor with a shaky hand.

“Do you wanna dance?” he asked.

Kyle scoffed, though he felt his voice tremble in his throat.

“With you? You’re not serious, right?”

Cartman shrugged, like that one simple, movement could make all of the nerves slide off of him.

“Sure I am,” he replied. “We gotta keep up the ruse.”

He seemed taller than ever when he stood up and Kyle felt his shoulders rise in his shadow.

“Well?” Cartman asked, holding out his hand. It was steadier now.

Kyle stared at it as he contemplated his answer. He was a terrible dancer, but who would really care? Cartman may rip on him, but he ripped on him about anything and his attention span was short when it came to such superficial matters. Kyle knew that Cartman would never let him live down the embarrassment of running away from a challenge. Although he hated to admit it, Cartman was right. They needed to keep this lie convincing, but would his awkwardness on the dancefloor give them away? Despite how well they had pulled off this farce so far...

Sighing, Kyle nodded and took Cartman’s hand. He grinned approvingly and led them to the dancefloor, just as one smooth, jazz song was melting into another; “ _I’m mad about the boy, and I know it’s stupid to be mad about the boy. I’m so ashamed of it, but must admit, the sleepless nights I’ve had... about the boy.”_

“I think you better lead,” Kyle said, his apprehension rising. He rolled his eyes when Cartman looked so surprised. “I have no rhythm. You know that.”

Cartman chuckled and ducked his head.

“Oh, I know it...” he coolly met Kyle’s eyes again. “I just never thought you’d let me be in charge of anything.”

“If you know I’m a terrible dancer then why did you ask me to dance in the first place?” Kyle asked, agitation burning away apprehension.

Kyle saw Cartman’s Adam’s apple bob in his throat, but it was soon followed by a goading smile.

“To embarrass you, of course.”

Kyle smiled in exasperation. “Of course...”

“Okay, so wrap your arms around my shoulders...”

Kyle’s hand was still in Cartman’s, and he felt a warm, tingling lack between them when he let it go. His arms were stiff when he wrapped them around Cartman’s shoulders, surprised by how broad they were, how hot his skin was beneath his crisp, white shirt.

“That’s it.” Cartman smiled, voice soft and lilting. Unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. “So, I’ll just, uh...”

Cartman’s hands were so gently and hesitantly placed on Kyle’s sides that he didn’t balk or jolt. Though it still was rather strange, to have those still chubby hands on him, hands that Kyle had often seen balled into angry fists, fingers that had jabbed and poked in spite. Kyle could tell Cartman was trying to be gentle when he slid his hands down his sides, but they were wired to be greedy. They skid and caught on Kyle’s shirt and his breath too, it seemed. But it wasn’t unpleasant, it was actually rather nice, and Kyle appreciated Cartman’s attempt at tentativeness. A quiet part of him wanted to help him practice the art of tenderness, if only to feel that sweetly odd sensation again. Kyle only noticed Cartman’s hands were still roaming lower when he felt them too close to his hips.

“This is fine,” he said, cutting through the thick, unsure air between them.

“S-s-sorry...” Cartman replied, placing his hands a little higher. He smiled. “And now we just sway.”

The lazy smile on Cartman’s face never wavered as they started to dance, and his eyes were lidded, seemingly brimming with thoughts that Kyle was desperate to know. He searched for answers in those golden eyes, but soon gave up when he discovered more intriguing things there. Like the caramel ring around his pupils, and his own enchanted reflection staring back at him.

“You’re actually doing pretty good, Jew,” Cartman commented. He lowered his head and kept his voice quiet. “I bet we look fucking fantastic...”

Everybody else’s opinion hadn’t even occurred to Kyle, nor did he want to look at the others. He may have missed that overwhelming, unbreakable connection of true love, but what he and Cartman had was pretty damn close; consuming and fiery.

“Apparently we _are_ adorable,” Kyle replied.

“We’ve always had chemistry.”

Kyle wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, but not the good kind.”

“Really?” Cartman asked. “Doesn’t fighting with me feel just a little great? Doesn’t it make you feel more alive?”

“Unlike you, I don’t get my kicks from driving people crazy.”

“Could’ve fooled me...” Cartman replied, so gentle and low that it reverberated through Kyle, sent a shiver down his spine.

Another instance where Kyle didn’t know how to reply – a situation that was occurring more and more often as the night went on. Kyle saw Cartman’s eyes flash, and he was sure his shirt was damp from where Cartman’s hot, slick palms were clutching it. When looking into his eyes made Kyle too nervous, he lowered his gaze to his lips. Big mistake. Pink, plush, and parted. Kyle watched as Cartman sunk his tooth into his bottom lip, contemplating. Drowning in doubt, Kyle could just about hear the song coming to an end;

_“I’m feeling quite insane and young again, and all because I’m mad-”_

Although his eyes were still on his lips, Kyle didn’t see the swift, tender kiss coming. A gentle, fleeting press against his lips, a drop of something sweet and indulgent that Kyle wanted to lick away but he knew better. Of course, he knew better. He pulled away abruptly, but couldn’t be too angry. He could feel them both quivering, Cartman’s wide shoulders were shaking beneath his fingers.

_“About the boy.”_

Kyle was surprised to find himself feeling considerably lighter. Exhilarated by the kiss, but relieved also. That quiet part of him, that knew so much, was now telling him that this is what he had been waiting all evening for. All his confusion, and suspicions, and doubt would be silenced by that one kiss. That one electric, lovely kiss. But it wasn’t enough, Cartman wasn’t the only one who was greedy. So he moved his hand to the nape of Cartman’s neck and pulled him to his lips again. 

Impatient, Kyle pushed his tongue into Cartman’s mouth without preamble and Cartman responded readily. He groaned, desperate and overjoyed, in the tiny space between their mouths and pulled Kyle closer, squeezing his waist while his other hand roamed his back. Kyle was almost on his tiptoes as he deepened the kiss, weaving his fingers through Cartman’s hair with one hand while clutching his bicep with the other. Kyle’s mouth was hot and wet, and ached all over, but Cartman’s talented tongue and pleading fingers made it all better. The rhythm of their kiss matched the rhythm of their fights; relentless, obsessive, and passionate.

It was then Kyle remembered who he was kissing, and the chain of events that had led them to his moment. Razored, nauseating memories sliced through his lusty haze, of Cartman telling him in the church what his original intentions for showing up at this wedding were - to hook up with some guy he could easily fool. Was Kyle that guy? Was that Cartman’s plan all along? Kyle knew Cartman was calculating enough to play the long game, manipulative enough to pretend he was helping Kyle out whilst hiding what was in it for him. Did Cartman seriously think Kyle wanted to be that guy? That he was naive enough to let Cartman fuck him? He was making out with him on the dancefloor, so maybe he was that stupid? The realisation winded Kyle, like a kick to his gut. But it wasn’t his pride that was bruised and bleeding, angered and seeking revenge. It was his heart, aching and sick with the possibility of betrayal that he perhaps should have seen coming. He didn’t want to believe Cartman would trick him like that. He wanted to believe that he was the changed, matured guy Kyle had sat at the bar with, had dinner with, laughed with, danced with and was kissing now. But was that all an act too? Cartman had proven how great of an actor he was. What was performance and what was sincere? Kyle couldn’t make a distinction between the two anymore, and he didn’t want to hang around any longer to find out. He had to get out of there. He pulled away with a whimper, trembling still.

“What’s up?” Cartman asked breathlessly, studying Kyle’s face. He must have looked so bewildered, driven crazy by deception.

He gritted his teeth, his temper flaring at what Cartman had turned him into. But he couldn’t look at him without breaking down. He couldn’t look into those golden eyes that had now become so beautiful to him, those lips that felt so wonderful pressed against his own. He realised then, he would never be able to look at Cartman without the sting of heartbreak, without feeling utterly weak. He forced himself to look away, before his emotions could topple him. He took a deep breath.

“You know what, Cartman? I...” his voice was breaking already. He shook his head. “Fuck this, I’m leaving...”

Pushing Cartman away from him, Kyle stormed to his table and grabbed his jacket from the chair. He kept his head down as he rushed out of the ballroom, eyes burning with tears.

* * *

Naturally, Cartman followed Kyle out of the ballroom. He called his name but Kyle didn’t turn around, wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing him upset, of responding to him at all. He put his jacket on and tried to conjure up the train timetables in his head.

“Kyle! Kyle!” Cartman was nearly panting. Their terse breathing filled the otherwise empty lobby. “Kyle, what the fuck are you doing?! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Me?!” Kyle yelled, turning around. He couldn’t help himself. “What’s wrong with _me_?! Are you seriously asking me that?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Why don’t you tell me? Because I thought you were helping me out, I thought this little act was just for my friends, and I thought I was in on it but I don’t know anymore...”

“What?” Cartman asked, eyebrows furrowed. “Of course you’re in on it.”

“Then what the fuck was up with that kiss? I didn’t think you would go that far-”

“You kissed me too!” Cartman interrupted, without any mirth or smugness. Anger and confusion lit up his wild, fiery eyes.

Kyle burned, lowered his head because the intensity of his stare was too much to handle.

“W-w-well, _yeah_ , because-”

“What?” Cartman cut in, stepping forward.

Kyle wanted to scream at him to get the fuck away. But instead he screamed; “Because I fucking fell for you!”

Cartman stumbled, his forehead still creased with confusion at Kyle’s words. They rang in Kyle’s ears, reverberating with shock. He shook his head in an effort to subdue his anger but it was no use.

“I mean, I fell for _this_!” he cried. “This game you’re playing where you make me feel like I can trust you, and have a good time with you, and maybe even like you, just so you can fuck me and humiliate me! So you’ll get this twisted upperhand!” He pursed his lips when his voice started to break but there was so much more he had left to say. “And I fucking hate myself for being so stupid but I hate you more!”

“You really think that’s what all this is about?”

Something in Cartman had hardened, Kyle could sense it and he bristled. Perhaps they had inherited emotions and sensations during all these years spent together? So not only could they see when the other was worried, excited, or depressed, but they could feel it too - residually, faintly, but still acute enough to sting. It was a great advantage, for rivals such as themselves, but a burden also, to shoulder somebody else’s pain. Friends would do that without complaint, but what about them? When their feelings for each other were fervent and yet so paradoxical? What were they? Where were the boundaries? Kyle only knew that his words had hurt Cartman, and he felt that ache reside guiltily in himself.

“Yes! I...” Kyle stopped, suddenly he couldn’t find the words. He hung his head, exhausted. He was tired of being angry. “I don’t know anymore, Cartman. I don’t know how I feel, I... I want to believe you’re being sincere, but something is stopping me-”

“Yeah, you’ve made your feelings crystal fucking clear,” Cartman cut in, tearing Kyle’s words to shreds. But they weren’t so sharp. In fact, they were blunt and shaky. “You hate me, you always have. So why should I keep pretending that maybe someday you won’t?”

“Because maybe I don’t!” Kyle replied, desperate now. “Not really. I’m... I-I’m just upset, and confused, and I don’t know if I can trust you.”

Cartman walked towards Kyle, and he once again found himself in his shadow. Despite the determined, serious expression on Cartman’s face Kyle somehow managed to keep his shoulders steady.

“Then tell me what I need to do so you can trust me.” His eyes roamed Kyle’s face, his voice quiet.

Kyle shrugged, he had no idea. But they needed to start somewhere.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Cartman sighed, looked above Kyle’s head for a minute.

“I kissed you...” He laughed, before returning his gaze to Kyle. It was familiar and warm, but somehow dampened by defeat. “I kissed you because I wanted to, okay? Because I’ve had more fun with you tonight than I ever thought I would have! More fun than hooking up with some random guy, even!” He shook his head, before lowering it. His voice was earnest and almost pained. “I just think you’re so fucking gorgeous and... having you so close to me felt amazing. I got carried away, and I knew I needed to kiss you then because I may never have another chance.”

Although Kyle would have loved to be looking into those enchanting, unusual eyes he was somewhat glad that Cartman’s gaze was preoccupied with the floor. At least he wouldn’t be able to see how stunned he was. His heart was sprinting and had seemed to have snatched his breath along with it.

“Hooking up with you never entered my brain,” Cartman interrupted, looking at Kyle now. His confession embraced him like a pair of arms would. “Not when we were sat together in the church, or when we came up with the plan in my car, not even when we kissed. I’ve loved being around you again, and it’s made me realise how much I’ve missed you. Because I have, Kyle, so fucking much, and I thought you felt the same way... when you kissed me I thought you felt the same way.”

“I do...” Kyle nodded, wanting Cartman to believe it now that he was willing to accept it. “I do, I just didn’t want to admit it. Especially when I had no idea what the truth was.”

“The truth? This is the truth...” Cartman grabbed Kyle’s arms and pulled him closer. Air was limited, their breathing ragged. “That ‘how we met’ story they all went crazy for? It was true, not the part where we dated, sure, but everything else was. I’ve been crazy about you since high school, and I’m starting to think that maybe I’ve been crazy about you since the moment we met because nobody has ever made me feel the way you make me feel. I was so damn happy to see you again and-”

Kyle cut Cartman off with a hard, impatient kiss. He had heard enough, all he had needed to hear, and he couldn’t be in such close proximity to Cartman’s lips without feeling them pressed against his own again. Bittersweet and heartfelt in the way only Cartman could be, his words were intoxicating. His fingers were boring into Kyle’s arm, and the clasp of their mouths was so firm it felt like they were crushing each other’s lips like delicious, ripened fruit to be savoured. But still Cartman pulled Kyle away, the both of them burning and shaking as they searched each other’s eyes, still close enough that they could detect any hesitation or regret. But in his darkened, hazy irises all Kyle saw was smouldering arousal, and Cartman welcomed his kiss again without complaint.

He also welcomed Kyle’s hands on him, pulling him closer when Kyle tugged at his shirt and they soon found themselves in the same position as they were on the dancefloor. Cartman’s hands at Kyle’s waist, while Kyle had his arms slung around his shoulders. But Cartman gripped and pressed and tugged and Kyle didn’t mind if his hands wandered lower, while his hands wandered into Cartman’s perfect hair. He wanted to detangle all of the product, to see it skim his golden eyes. He wanted to see Cartman without the expensive suit, the shoes, the cologne, he wanted to see him bare and honest. He wanted to hear him plead, and murmur, and moan, not lie and boast. But most of all, he just wanted them to be truly alone together, without needing to pretend, without needing to hide behind pride and apprehension.

“Let’s get out of here,” Kyle said breathlessly in between kisses. “Can we go to your room?”

Cartman’s lidded eyes widened, gleamed.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

When they were pressed so close together, Kyle could feel their chests heaving in unison.

“Of course I’m sure.” He smiled, before closing his eyes and correcting himself. He shook his head and their noses brushed together. “I mean, I wasn’t before but I am now... I want this, Cartman.” Kyle looked into his eyes and clutched a handful of his hair. “I want _you_.”

Cartman grinned like they were the words he had been dreaming of for years, but never expected. He grabbed Kyle’s hand and wordlessly marched them to the elevator. Their hands were still linked as they waited, and Kyle felt himself shivering again in anticipation and disbelief. He glanced at Cartman, with his chubby cheeks pinked, his shirt creased, and his hair mussed already and wondered if his mouth was aching from their kisses, and from the weight of his ecstatic, reeling grin. Kyle knew the feeling and squeezed his hand a little tighter, his nerves quieting when he remembered this was a boundary they were crossing together. They started the evening as a team, and they seemed to be ending as one. The elevator dinged, and the doors opened to reveal it was empty. Thankfully. Kyle didn’t know if he could abstain from Cartman’s mouth any longer.

They stepped inside and Kyle stood behind Cartman as he pressed the button for their floor. Biting his lip, Kyle’s fingers crawled up Cartman’s wrist and gave it a soft tug. When he turned around to look at Kyle, he reached up to grab the nape of Cartman’s neck and then pulled him to his lips once more. Cartman returned the kiss just as fervently, and they stumbled from the force of it. The brass walls shuddered as Kyle was pushed against it, his back hitting the wall with a loud thud. But he wasn’t deterred, raking his fingers across Cartman’s back as he pushed his tongue deep into his mouth.

“Holy shit, Kyle...” Cartman whispered when Kyle let him come up for air.

They pawed and clutched at each other as they kissed, their burning, rosy mouths muffling their moans and sweet, glinting cries. Kyle couldn’t help but think back to their childhood fights, their teenage arguments, when he yelled at Cartman until he was faint, when his words would be strung together in one feverish, furious cry. They would stand so close that their features would blur into each other, and Kyle would only be able to distinguish Cartman’s impassioned eyes and wicked grin. Despite how exhausting it was, Kyle had never experienced such piercing, overwhelming emotion and that feeling was returning to him now. He was pouring as much effort into his enthusiastic kisses as he did his barbed words. They held each other in a tight, insatiable embrace, still trying to create more friction. Kyle could feel Cartman’s erection through his trousers, rubbing against his own and if he was a little braver he would have pressed the ‘emergency stop’ button and have them fuck right there; rough, and wild, and hard.

Above their staccato, humid breaths and moans Kyle heard the elevator doors open with a ding. His eyes drifted open and he saw a group of unimpressed middle-aged hotel guests enter the elevator. He tugged at Cartman’s hair a little harder to get his attention.

“What?” he asked, before he too noticed they weren’t alone.

They exchanged polite smiles with the other guests, before Cartman pushed Kyle into a corner and resumed their original closeness, grinding his hips and Kyle managed to stop himself from gasping. Cartman snickered.

“Looks like I’ve got you pretty worked up, huh?” he teased huskily. “You’re hard already.”

Kyle felt like his cheeks were on fire, but he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, so are you...”

“How could I not be?” Cartman replied with an unfazed smile. He leaned in closer and murmured, “You’re so fucking hot, Kyle...”

Lowering his head, he started to plant sultry, wet kisses on Kyle’s neck, humming like Kyle’s skin was the sweetest thing he ever tasted. Kyle shivered when he felt warm breath on his ear, and Cartman’s hands roaming his hips. He moaned gently when Cartman took his earlobe into his mouth, but then dug his fingers into Cartman’s arm and moaned louder when he felt a nip at his ear and Cartman squeezing his ass. He opened his eyes to see the other people in the elevator glancing over their shoulder. He burned with embarrassment as well as arousal.

“Eric!” he hissed, before he realised how he must have sounded, or indeed what name had slipped past his lips.

Cartman pulled back, eyes searching Kyle’s face.

“Did you just call me-”

“Shut up.”

Giving Kyle’s ass another gentle squeeze, Cartman grinned and pointed out; “You never call me ‘Eric’.”

Kyle huffed, fidgeting.

“I’ve been calling you ‘Eric’ all evening...”

“In front of your friends. That doesn’t count. This is different, this...” Cartman paused, raking his gaze over Kyle and biting his lip to control his giddy, satisfied smile. “This is so sexy.” He pressed his forehead to Kyle’s and nuzzled him, and his voice was low, hungry, and eager when he spoke. “God, I can’t wait to get you to my room. I can’t wait to get you naked, and spread out on my bed. You’d like that, right? My hands and my mouth all over you, tasting you, leaving my mark on you, making you tremble, moaning my name.”

Kyle couldn’t find his voice to answer. It was small and trembling in the back of his throat. He knew Cartman – _Eric_ – was speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, but he didn’t care, he was just focused on Kyle and everything he wanted to do to him, and tonight Kyle wanted to be just as fearless, just as bold.

“I’m gonna make you scream it, I swear,” Eric vowed, every word was taut. “I’m gonna make you feel so fucking incredible, Kyle, you won’t be able to stand it. And when you’re shaking, and sweating, and begging me, I’ll get you on all fours and slide my cock deep inside your tight little-”

Eric was interrupted by the elevator doors opening once again with a ding. They both looked at the doors before their gazes were drawn once again to each other.

“I think that’s us.” Kyle smiled.

Eric chuckled and nodded, grabbing Kyle’s hand once more and pulling him out of the elevator.

“Excuse us...” Kyle said, keeping his head down as they pushed their way through the group.

Out in the hallway with the elevator doors shut behind them they broke out in feverish, immature laughter. Still hand in hand, they gravitated towards each other’s lips. Gentler than before, separated by their beaming smiles and Eric had cupped Kyle’s face to connect their lips.

“Come on...” he smiled.

Joining hands once again, Eric led Kyle to his room. Kyle felt completely weightless and drained already with only Eric’s brief, earnest kisses to ground him and enliven him, leaving him satisfied but always wanting more. The room number swam in Kyle’s vision and he was soon pressed against the door. The handle was digging into his back but he didn’t care when Eric’s thigh was between his legs and his tongue was in his mouth.

In his haze, Kyle heard Eric slot the keycard into the lock and a brief series of consensual beeps. With a short grunt, Eric shifted Kyle so he could open the door. Kyle stumbled into the room but, strong and swift, Eric caught him. Kyle was ensnared in his arms and he didn’t protest when Eric hoisted him up, in fact, he gladly wrapped his legs around his waist, ensnaring him too. Their mouths never separated, hot, and wet, and tonguing at each other’s lips as Eric carried Kyle to his bed. Kyle had no time to breathe, or think, and he didn’t care if it meant Eric could carry out those promises he made to him faster, that had sent his imagination running wild.

* * *

Kyle hated being proven wrong. But, tangled in the bed sheets, trembling, aching, and hot, he realised he could live with being proven wrong if it felt this good. His friends had been right; he and Eric were great together. Heart-pounding, headboard-thumping, toe-curlingly fucking fantastic together. Eric kept to every single one of his promises in the elevator with only the slightest deviations. Kyle had created his own fantasies, discovered his own curiosities, under the spell of Eric’s deft fingers, talented mouth, and earnest, passionate words, and wanted to act on them.

They had yet to speak after reaching their climaxes. Their torrid panting was filling the silence for now. Kyle glanced at Eric, raked his gaze over him like his hungry fingers had, and his arousal lurched at the sight: Eric, rid of his suit, his cologne, his slick hairdo, and robbed of his honed, charming words. Instead, he was glistening with sweat, his cock still red, stiff, and gleaming (with nothing to compensate for, Kyle had discovered). He had one arm behind his head, and Kyle wanted to count the once hidden freckles on the pale underside. His drenched hair was skimming his eyebrows, and he was smiling up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Kyle saw how dark they still were when he turned to look at him, his smile spreading wider when their eyes met.

Kyle was waiting for the arrogant, smartass comment, already preparing his equally smug retort, but instead Eric reached out to stroke Kyle’s cheek and brought their lips together. He had been waiting so long for this, he couldn’t be anything other than grateful, although Kyle hardly felt that sleeping with him warranted gratitude. But under the covers, Eric practically worshipped him. They both moaned, muffled, into the tender, indulgent kiss. Too spent to be urgent, and their lips were still warm, flushed, and aching from the deep, hard kisses and nips they had been exchanging thus far. Their lips slid off each other like they were reluctant to be separated, and they kept their mouths close. Adoration brimmed in Eric’s eyes, and Kyle couldn’t help but feel a little humility at being the subject of his stare, of his wide, content smile that made his heart swell with fondness. He realised then, he had been proven wrong about something – rather, _someone_ – else too, and he couldn’t have been happier.

Eric sighed, brushed at Kyle’s cheek with his thumb.

“Damn it, why was I such a fucking pussy in high school?” He asked, before planting another slow kiss on Kyle’s lips. “If I just had the balls to tell you I liked you we could have done this a lot sooner.”

Kyle smiled wistfully at the thought of all those missed years, all those missed opportunities to feel as exhilarated and satisfied as he did right now. But he couldn’t dwell, or regret, he could just take the chances that were in front of him. Right now, that was sampling Eric’s plush lips again.

“If we fucked in high school, it would never have been as great as this,” Kyle pointed out, lips still brushing together after their kiss.

Eric closed his eyes and chuckled, pressing their foreheads together. He shook his head.

“God, we would have been so awkward...” he replied

“And scared,” Kyle added.

“We wouldn’t have lasted as long either.”

Kyle chuckled in agreement, meeting Eric’s eyes.

“But it still would’ve been you,” Eric said softly, running his hand through Kyle’s dishevelled curls.

Kyle blinked at the words, his heart prickling at their sincerity. He pursed his lips and nodded.

“Yeah, it still would’ve been us,” he replied, just as gentle. He placed a hand on Eric’s heart and felt so much security in its strong, steady beat.

Eric glanced at Kyle’s hand on his chest, before he met his eyes again and smiled at him appreciatively.

“Still, there’s no time like the present, right?” Kyle asked, unable to hide the grin in his voice.

Eric’s eyes flashed, and he nodded.

“Right,” he replied. “You don’t have to catch the last train back to the city, do you?” he asked, playing with Kyle’s hair. “Because you can stay here, if you want.”

Right now, Kyle didn’t want to be anywhere except this bed, didn’t want to be with anyone except Eric.

“I’d like that.” He smiled.

Eric’s shoulders shrugged in relief, and he grinned.

“Great, because this was too fucking good to only do once.”

“Oh, definitely...” Kyle replied, trying to sound as seductive as possible. He trailed his foot up Eric’s calf.

“I think this calls for some room service,” Eric said, and Kyle chuckled and rolled his eyes as he reached for the hotel phone. Despite polishing off his meal earlier, he _was_ pretty hungry.

He made himself comfortable in the rumpled bed and stared up at the ceiling, pushing back the curls that were plastered to his forehead.

“Hi, yeah, could I get a bottle of champagne, some strawberries, and...” Eric paused and Kyle caught him raking his gaze over his naked body in contemplation. “Fuck it, some whipped cream too. Oh, and a pepperoni pizza.”

Kyle laughed and hid his embarrassed face, not wanting to ask what the hell Eric was planning. Admittedly, he was a tad intrigued. What was it about Eric that brought out this mischievous side of him? A side he remembered when he was a bit more immature, but thought he had grown out of now. Maybe it was the belief Eric had that Kyle could be more of what was expected of him? It was a belief that remained unspoken, buried beneath the lines of Eric’s pliable words. But it wasn’t so difficult to spot, when Kyle shared that belief too, that Eric could be more than his carefully preserved image let on.

He uncovered his face when he felt the weight of Eric on top of him, comfortable and pleasant in a way he never thought it would be. He looked into his eyes, more beautiful than Kyle had ever given him credit for.

“Think I can make you come again before the room service arrives?” Eric asked, knowing Kyle could never turn down a challenge. And he wasn’t going to start now.

“I’d like to see you try.” Kyle grinned, welcoming Eric’s kiss.

* * *

After morning sex and a late breakfast, Eric and Kyle checked out of the hotel and headed back to the city. Kyle was expecting to feel reality rushing back to him as they reached the city, sat in the passenger seat of Eric’s car. But that elation never wavered. In fact, it surged whenever he glanced at Eric, whenever he made him laugh, and was reminded of the events of this weekend. Not an ending, Kyle realised, to be permanently relocated to his memory, but a beginning to something exciting and promising.

“Nice neighbourhood...” Eric commented, as he drove slowly through Kyle’s street.

“Thanks.” Kyle smiled, watching couples strolling home from brunch, and families walking to the park with their dogs in tow. “I like it, it’s busy but not too loud and everybody seems nice. There’s a lot of families too, so it’s always really festive during Halloween and Christmas when the kids are all excited... God knows what they’ll think when they see me stepping out of a sports car.”

“You actually know your neighbours?”

“Yeah, don’t you?” Kyle asked, glancing at Eric and raising an eyebrow. Being raised in a small town, Kyle didn’t know any different. Surely Eric felt the same.

“I own a penthouse apartment so I don’t have to make small talk with anybody I don’t want to,” Eric replied. “Except the doorman.”

_Apparently not..._

Kyle shook his head and scoffed in disbelief. “I can’t believe you have a fucking doorman...”

Eric shrugged and chuckled.

“If you’re really sceptical I can take you there right now.”

Admittedly, Kyle was tempted, although he didn’t give a shit about the doorman. He just didn’t want this to come to an end. But he had never been a clingy boyfriend, and he wasn’t going to start now. No matter how much fun he had when Eric was around, no matter how addictive his company was starting to become, and no matter how much he adored being in the rippling sphere of their scintillating, ardent chemistry. It was still very early days yet, and while Kyle would hardly refuse another night spent together, a little distance never hurt anyone. Plus, he needed some sleep and a change of clothes.

“Maybe some other time...” Kyle replied, before eyeing Eric up and tugging at his seatbelt self-consciously. He’d practiced the offer a million times in his head since they hit the road, surely his nerves would’ve evaporated by now. “Like, after dinner next Saturday?”

Eric blinked, and glanced at Kyle like he wasn’t sure he heard him right. Kyle gulped and the urge to retract the offer sprinted through his mind. But he didn’t need to, not when Eric’s fingers flexed on the steering wheel and he shifted in his seat like he could transport them to Saturday night there and then. A smile spread across his face and Kyle suppressed a delighted chuckle when their eyes briefly met.

“Are you asking me out right now?” Eric asked, disbelief needling his voice.

Kyle shrugged, felt his face grow warm. “Maybe...”

Eric laughed, short and impressed.

“Look at you trying to be all smooth!” he teased. “You sound like me...”

“You haven’t answered my question, Eric,” Kyle pointed out, keeping his eyes on Eric even when he was trying so hard to concentrate on the road.

“Sure,” he replied softly, glancing at Kyle. “It’d be nice to be real boyfriends, for a change”

Kyle rolled his eyes when he was reminded of the bizarreness of this weekend. But he couldn’t be too dismissive, when it led to such great moments, great sex, great revelations about a guy who turned out to be an amazing investment for all the hope Kyle had held out for him.

“This is me,” he said, when they were nearing his apartment building.

Eric pulled over and didn’t say anything when Kyle unbuckled his seatbelt. They were both withholding goodbyes.

“Thanks, Eric,” Kyle said, instead, turning to Eric and smiling. “For everything. I had an amazing time.”

Eric snickered and ducked his head. Kyle was starting to adore that more bashful side of him.

“Jewboy, it was my pleasure,” he replied.

Kyle’s smile creased and he was about to say those dreaded words before Eric reached forward and claimed his lips. Soon, his hand was cupping the side of Kyle’s face and his fingers were weaving through his hair like he wanted to remember every curl. Kyle tilted his head and parted Eric’s lips with his tongue, wondering how he had gone this long without feeling that plush mouth pressed against his own. They both gasped when they pulled away, hot breath ghosting each other’s lips as they panted, all composure and smoothness forgotten about in the increasingly stuffy car.

“Yeah...” Eric breathed out, ragged. His lidded eyes roamed Kyle’s face. “That should hold me over until Saturday.”

“Maybe we could meet up before then?” Kyle asked, not knowing who he was kidding when he thought he could wait for this a little longer.

Eric grinned, like that was what he’d been hoping to hear.

“Sounds great. I’ll call you later.”

“Awesome.” Kyle smiled, pulling away and opening the door. “Bye, Eric.”

“Bye, Kyle,” Eric replied, never taking his eyes off him.

The spring air was cold on Kyle’s face as he stepped out of the car. He looked over his shoulder and gave Eric a short wave before he slammed the car door. Eric had offered his signature grin in return, one that had yet to fail in making Kyle’s heart race. Eric didn’t drive away until Kyle had reached his apartment door, beeping his horn as he sped off and Kyle watched him from the top step.

Eric soon disappeared from his view, and Kyle wondered if he had fallen for him just as fast. But it never really felt like falling, Kyle realised. It felt like they were both stepping in a new direction, heading down a path that they never anticipated but was clearly marked. They were just too stubborn, or lost, or distracted to realise it, even if others had. But that didn’t matter, because hand in hand, they would walk down that path together, unified against whatever life threw at them. They were fucking fantastic together, after all.


End file.
